Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
