i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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