So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
