dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
