this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
