He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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