Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
