Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
