i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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