I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
