I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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