I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
