Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
