May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
