weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
