You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
