i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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