maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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