Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
