oh god the rape fog is back!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
