I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
