Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
