Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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