I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
