And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
