Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
