if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
