I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
