Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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