I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
