He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
