I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
