was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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