Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Help. Why am I so naked?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
