she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
