You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Come see our sink grown plant.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
