How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
