watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Enjoy the penises
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
