Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
