I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
