i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
