what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
