I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
