worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
