its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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