brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
