We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
