I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
