the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Bring me that man meat
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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