I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
