i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
