I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
