I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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