I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
