Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
